The Power of Positive Thinking

During the pandemic, as with anyone there was a lot of struggles for me in all aspects of my life. It was one of my lowest moments, as I had sunken into a deep depression and I was struggling with a lot of anxiety and paranoia caused by being home for over a year with “cabin fever” and the fear of catching COVID. Negative new cycles and a rambling president every night was not comforting either. It was a very scary time in history, and I know now I was not alone, as a lot of individuals and friends I knew also suffered from Mental Health conditions over COVID from loneliness, paranoia and depression especially if they had lost their jobs and their routines were disrupted or they lived alone. I believe until now, many are still suffering from PTSD as well as other forms of mental health illness from the immense stress they had encountered during the pandemic.

I’m very fortunate I was able to create a thriving online business at the beginning of the pandemic and that helped me stay afloat in many ways. My family and especially my child also really helped me stay strong and kept me happy. The light at the end of the tunnel during COVID felt immensely long and drawn out as we stayed home for majority of the pandemic. I am grateful however, that during the worst times of COVID, I found my faith in God again. We started doing family rosary sessions and though we have stopped, I still pray every single night. Praying the rosary, has been monumental in helping me sleep especially in times I felt so alone, and scared for the future. It easily fought off my overthinking and insomnia. Though I don’t believe it has to be a rosary, especially if you’re not Catholic, prayer really works. It could be Mala Beads, meditation exercises from an app or praying to your God. Prayer, and practicing gratitude is so important as I believe it rewires your brain to be more positive and optimistic, and thus makes you happy. Being grateful and finding the positive is one of the most powerful exercises and really roots you. Even in my darkest hour, or times I felt alone and isolated till this day, I remained grateful, and if something or someone hurt me in the past, I just offer all the pain and suffering to God or Higher forces, knowing that even pain is wonderful teacher. I stopped blaming myself and other people for what was happening, and understood that it is, what it is. Often times, when something like COVID, breakups or losing a loved one occurs, we get angry because something beyond our control has affected our life. However, bad experiences, mistakes or failures always teach us a lesson. And there is always something to learn from these negative experiences with people or fortuitous events.

For example, I also had a falling out with a couple of friends I thought were people who l believed then genuine then. Only to find out that they weren't who I thought they were, instead were only those who were down for a good time. It took me time to process, since I had given a lot of my time and energy to these people only to see them betray me and try to exclude me, when I set firmer boundaries with my time and resources. It was painful then, but in retrospect I realize it was actually a blessing. I learned from this experience that 1. its important to have like minded friends (for me I have strong values, I don’t enjoy gossip, I value privacy, honesty, and I want to be around driven individuals) 2. I learned how to spot one sided, user friendly friendships so I can avoid them in the future 3. that I was too nice and welcoming to people to the point they took advantage of my kindness. So though it was an extremely traumatic experience then for me as a recovering people pleaser, to not be liked by some, I was in fact saved by God from individuals who were abusing my kindness and weren’t really genuine, with whom I never was really that happy with anyway. I learned that people pleasing is dangerous business, since you aren’t being honest to yourself about your needs, and boundaries and you will be a magnet for manipulators and abusers whom will take advantage of your kindness and never return the favor. It’s actually fine to be disliked by a couple of people, especially if you never considered them that close anyway or who don’t know you that well anyway. I also learned my validation should never come from other people, it should come from within.

Turning your negative situation around is extremely dependent on your ability to see the good or positive in every situation. This is where resilience comes in. The lessons you learn during your painful and dark times are valuable. As I said pain is wonderful teacher as you progress into life. Pain helps you remember the lessons you need to learn on your journey in life so they won’t be repeated again in another traumatic cycle. Even death I believe can teach you a lesson, like how to appreciate life more and spend time with people you love or do those things you’ve always wanted to do. It can be difficult to see when you are in the process of healing because the pain can be overwhelming, but day by day you learn to make peace with the past carrying around your little trophies in the form of life lessons and realizing you’re getting better at this little game of life.