Postpartum Depression
Postpartum Depression
The lesser know little cousin of Clinical depression. What exactly is Portpartum depression and is it a real phenomenon?
The transition from your former sense of self, whether you were a career driven boss babe, a worldly jet setter or even a suburban house wife is never easy despite what social media portrays.
The drastic shift from your former lifestyle transitioning into a vessel for the carrying of new life is difficult to say the least. You are a submarine of sorts- carrying new life into unknown waters. You can either cling to the past version of you, living in the past or embrace this radical new change which is your new role as a completely new person, a mother.
Depression is often caused by a drastic change. A change of lifestyle, moving to a new place or a death of a loved one. During pregnancy you can already feel the major changes in your body. The engorged breasts, the moodiness, the difficulty sleeping with an oversized belly and the limitations in the things you can or can’t do. You can no longer travel, do extremely strenuous exercises and there are diet restrictions. In many ways the old persona of “you” dies. The fun, adventurous, spontaneous, workaholic and driven versions of you. As the focus shifts to your unborn child, we are forced to slow down.
For many women, whether they admit it or not, this can form resentment towards their child. Especially in cases the child was unwanted- like in rape, an accidental child, unpreparedness financially for the child or if the child is a risky pregnancy. And even if the child was planned, there are many moments following a birth of a child that new mothers struggle with their self image and the physical and emotional demands of raising a newborn.
Imagine this: you had to halt your career, or find a way to balance it with the long list of other duties you have to do, you feel constantly tired, you gained a ton of weight and you don’t feel like your best self. On top of that, you are bombarded of perfect celebrity moms or “perfect” mom friends portraying how motherhood should be absolutely perfect 24/7. I assure you it is not.
There are many women who silently suffer, who have crying spells from the sheer amount of work and mom duties. Who suffer because of chaffing nipples, and body image issues. And there are those who feel suicidal and wish to harm their children, though less common. What I feel is important for new mothers to realize is that motherhood is journey, and no matter where you are in the journey, whether it’s adjusting to changes, struggling with loving yourself or your child, it’s completely normal. You are still a gobbly mess of hormones, with a new body and its okay to take baby steps to loving yourself again. It’s okay to not be perfect, to seek help from other moms or go to therapy if you have suicidal ideations. Setting time for yourself, self care, and your hobbies is essential as well. Building your confidence after a major life change like pregnancy is never easy, and there is little help offered to new mothers. There is a lot of expectation and little awareness on the difficulty of managing Postpartum Depression. There is help however, with the help of a support group- whether it’s a mommy friend, your family or therapy, you are never alone.
‘I see you there mama, trying your best. I see you showing up each day, even though you feel exhausted. I see you making tough choices for your family even when your not sure if they are right. I see you working tirelessly, even when it seems never ending. I see you doing an amazing job, even though you doubt yourself. I see you mama, and you are more than enough.’