Celebrating Self Love
I think one of the most important things you unlearn as you become an adult is the notion that men should be your entire Universe. Also that, once you finally have a man, life will sunddenly become like a fairytale with its happily ever after. I struggled in my 20s trying to understand the ever changing nature of “Love” for me. I asked myself whether “Love” was the initial attraction of an attractive man or woman? Was it some kind of sacrifice, where you keep giving to a relationship even when it hurts? Was it a man who catered to your every whim and treated you like a princess? Or the comfort of a best friend you fell in Love with? I still don’t know. There are times I ask myself if i’ve even ever been in Love honestly.
At the end of the day, I did realize one thing. The most important relationship you should ever have, is the one you have with yourself (or your cat, if you have one lol) . If you are constantly chasing men, or dependent on their attention to make you feel good about yourself you’ll be greatly disappointed in life. Self Love for me is the greatest Love you can ever have. All other forms of Love comes from this Love- the Love we give ourselves. Valentines has become a bit of a cheesy, materialistic holiday, but it still does feel good to be shown appreciation on this day. So if you don’t have a boyfriend or husband, remember you can buy yourself chocolates, flowers and dinner too. That doesn’t make you less of a person, it is actually empowering! *cue Miley Cyrus: “I can buy myself flowers..” song.
That being said, never ever chase men. Chase your dreams, not men. Life becomes a lot more peaceful and fulfilling when you find your sense of purpose, and move towards the direction of your goals and dreams. Create a beautiful life for yourself. Take photographs for youself, and not just for Instagram. Really be present in your life and live it to the fullest. Fill it with awesome hobbies- gardening, camping, scuba diving, yoga, reading, journalling, running, football, jiujitsu.. the sky is the limit. Find whatever it is that sets your soul on fire and gives you a reason to be excited when you wake up in the morning.
Create fun memories with your circle of friends, and keep pushing yourself to meet new people outside your comfort zone to expand your horizons as well. I like to think of people as portals to other Universes, and the more you meet, the more you expand your view of the world and see other people’s lives outside your own bubble. You can find new friends in the hobbies you have too. For me it made my yoga journey so much more fun and exciting for example. You also come to learn that there is also a lot of Love within the friendships you keep.
Lastly, and most importantly, there is the Love you give and receive from your family. This is the second most important Love for me because I have been blessed with an amazing family that really loves me and takes care of me. They never failed to give me flowers and gifts every Valentines (with or without a boyfriend). I never really felt sad or lonely on Valentines Day cause they always made me feel special.
Remember this Valentines Day, that you are worthy of Love; not just because you have a partner, not because you received flowers, but simply because you exist. The Universe/ God created you and thus, you are a special gift to those around you. Heaven has a unique plan for you, never forget that. Give yourself a pat on the back, and treat yourself a little this Valentines. Buy yourself some flowers and chocolates, take a nice long bubble bath, put on a face mask. Date yourself. Also give yourself all the Love and Self care you need. Celebrate yourself because you deserve it, Queen.
“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.” - Max Ehrmann