A Fresh New Start
The New Year usually marks a fresh start and a brand new beginning. We begin the year with a list of New Years resolutions shedding away layers of ourselves we wish to leave behind in the past. Bursts of light explode into the air and bangs dispel and clear all the remnants of negativity lingering in the pitch black sky. It is often such a nostalgic moment for me. Celebrating with loved ones, you realize how many storms you braved and how important it is to be grateful for life and to have family and friends that love you. It has been an extremely challenging 2022 for me and I faced many of my most toughest battles in silence relying on no one but myself and the few people I trust. Difficult times will always come however I think what dark times teach you is: 1. Who your real friends are 2. how utterly capable and resilient you are even with those who aren’t.
The New Years always evokes a feeling of victory and triumph over life and I think that is quite beautiful. As the New Years rings in a celebration of life is remembered. It is a moment to pause and reflect on the year and be grateful for everything you not only survived but also accomplished.
Most of the time my resolution would be the typical lose weight and be healthier type, but this year was different. This year, I made a promise to myself to protect my energy at all costs because I worked really hard to get to where I am. I promised myself 2023 would be the year that I no longer pour into cups that don’t pour into mine. I have a habit of people pleasing and being “too nice” even to individuals who are aren’t really deserving. There were many times I gave too much to one sided friendships and never really felt the energy was reciprocated. I realized 2023 would be the year I set firm boundaries for myself. Being intentional with your energy is supposed to be your first priority. One of my biggest takeaways last year is that there is a difference between fake kindness and genuine kindness. Fake kindness is a calculated form of kindness with ulterior motives. For example, someone could only be nice to get a foot in the door, to get information about you or to further their cause and use you in the future. Some people also are covert narcissists whom try to be overly helpful, do grand gestures or even give lavish gifts because this is also a way to control you and make you dependent on them.
In contrast, there are those people who are genuinely kind and come from a place of Love. This is genuine and authentic kindness. The difference lies in intention. One comes from ego (to be liked and viewed as “kind”) and to gain control over another person or even to gain social status, whereas genuine kindness comes from authentic and pure Love. True generosity never expects anything in return. I don’t believe you are supposed to treat people like property at your disposal. Neither should you make an accounting sheet of how much they owe you for your “kindness“. Thus by this logic, i promised myself to give kindness more intentionally and be more genuine with how I really feel. I also choose to surround myself with friends who are like minded and value authenticity.
This 2023, I choose people who choose me. I choose relationships where the flow of energy and love is mutual. I also promised myself to create strong boundaries and not feel guilty for saying no to things or people that don’t serve me or align with me or my values. On the other hand, I make time for people, hobbies and groups that energize me, make me feel supported and help me reach my full potential. I deliberately seek individuals and those who inspire me with their work ethic, drive, and ambition because I want to be inspired by other’s success. Since I enjoy constantly improving myself, I also made a note to myself that I should surround myself with women who lift each other up instead of dragging each other down. I realized I place a high value on women who are goal oriented and who inspire me to be the best version of myself.
My new mantra for this new year is: I choose peace over drama and distance over disrespect. I’m honest with myself now that I don’t enjoy gossiping and backstabbing. Since I was in my teens I disliked petty group politics and power struggles. Gossiping and backstabbing to me is a waste of time and those who partake in it usually have nothing better to do. Those who engage in these low vibrational energies like hate, anger and jealousy usually become consumed by it. I also think those who constantly create drama around themselves lack attention. I’ve learned it is important to avoid these kinds of people like a plague because they will engulf you in their issues and drama. It’s more important to focus on your skills, your career and your goals in life otherwise you will never grow as a person.
This New Year my resolution is also to take up more space and to stop playing small. I used to be deeply insecure about myself in the past because I was extremely unhappy in my career path for law. I struggled with anxiety and depression, as well as with my self esteem. The previous years, I rebuilt myself and finally had the confidence to go in the direction of my own dreams where I saw my version of happiness. As I celebrated the incoming New Year, I looked in the mirror and realized I am a completely different person now and I love who I am. I love my friends, I love being a mom, I love my work and I love all of my quirky hobbies. I move deliberately and with passion. I finally have the courage to follow my dreams instead of blindly following others and their dreams for me. I don’t allow people to tell me what I can or can’t do. I also go to bed with a happy and grateful heart with faith in the Universe. I know the Universe always provides, especially to those with good intentions.
I hope that as the New Year rings in and as you set your own intentions for the beginning of the year, you don’t forget to thank yourself. Thank yourself for all you have accomplished in terms of your career, family life, fitness and your own personal goals. Thank yourself for surviving all the trials and tribulations you endured. Even small wins are still wins, like getting outside your comfort zone and trying a new hobby or making friends outside your usual social circle. Maybe you survived a mental health condition that plagued you during the pandemic or even found a person who meets you on a soul level and makes you feel seen and loved.
Life is full of magic if you choose to see it. A lot of magic lies in the small victories and fleeting moments we often let pass by. It is all a matter of perspective. As a mom for example i realized that through a child’s eyes there is so much beauty and happiness in the world around me. Butterflies and rainbows are suddenly amazing again and the sun has never been more radiant. Being a mom taught me that you spend a large amount of your life as a child excited to “grow up” and the latter part of being adult trying to recapture the bliss of childhood. It’s funny and a little ironic. Your children inspire you to be a better person and teach you a lot about life. Something children and meditation have in common is that they teach you that happiness is a state of mind anyone can achieve.
I hope this New Year, you find magic in your life. I’m such a believer that even in the midst of a sea of sadness there is so much to be grateful for. You are capable, resilient and you can do anything that you set your mind to. There is so much freedom as well in opening your mind to new possibilities and learning to build a life for yourself that you don’t have to regularly need to escape from.
“Learn as if you will live forever, live like you will die tomorrow.” — Mahatma Gandhi